6/29/2010

Linger Song | The Art of Letting Go


The Hardest Day
The Corrs feat Alejandro Sanz

One more day, one last look
Before I leave it all behind
And play the role that's meant for us
That said we'd say goodbye

One more night (one more night) by your side (by your side)
Where our dreams collide
And all we have is everything
And there's no pain there's no hurt
There's no wrong it's all right

If I promise to believe will you believe
That there's nowhere that we'd rather be
Nowhere describes where we are
I've no choice, I love you
Leave, love you wave goodbye

And all I ever wanted was to stay (all I ever wanted was to stay) 
And nothing in this world's gonna change, change

Never wanna wake up from this night
Never (never) wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only, only you

Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you, the hardest day of my life
The hardest day of my life

I still breathe (I still breathe), I still eat (I still eat)
And the sun it shines the same as it did yesterday
But there's no warmth, no light
I feel empty inside

But I never will regret a single day
I know it isn't going to go away
What I'm feeling (I'm feeling) for you
I will always love you
Leave, love you wave goodbye (love you wave goodbye)

And all, and all I ever wanted was to stay (all I ever wanted was to stay)
Nothing (nothing) in this world's gonna change...

Never wanna wake up from this night
Never (never) wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only, only you

Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
I never knew I'd ever feel this way
I feel for you...

Never wanna wake up (I feel for you, I feel for you) from this night
Never (never, never) wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only, only you

Never gonna forget (never gonna forget) every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you, the hardest day of my life...
Never wanna wake up from this night...
_________________________________________________________________

This was first heard in the year 2000, I think. But this is the only instance in my office that I’ve heard it over and over for the next two hours of my “office time”. And everytime I reflect to the soul of the song for a minute or so, my heart is breaking.

To others, maybe reflecting to this song (while not even experiencing the scenario being described) would cause negativity on the perception on their current relationship (applicable to those with girlfriend/boyfriend). Maybe they do not want to hear the song at all.

To some of those being through a hard break-up or on the process of letting go, the song may make them cry and empathize on the picture being portrayed in the lyrics, or they may at least internalize the words and let the music and lyrics sink into their dreams.

To me, with no experience having a serious relationship with a special someone, makes me realize that I don’t want to feel the emptiness of being left-out by the one I love. Parang iiyak ako if that would ever happen. And I would like to promise myself that if the “break-up” would ever happen in one stage of my life, I would endure the pain of loneliness, maybe saying the same things whatever the lyrics are trying to say, or maybe hold on to the precious moments; but in the end – would move on with no bitterness in my heart, starting on a clean slate.

Leaving someone special will be the hardest thing to do. Leaving things that are being built up by both of you, memories that are being spent together, little somethings that both of you are sharing... will be half-empty if the other half is gone.

But the art of letting go is reestablishing yourself – making yourself whole again. Starting anew. Because it is through the wholeness you can give your special self to another, and being able to receive the reciprocal... and also, being able to let yourself in love with someone special.

I am sure that I am not the best adviser to the issues on heartbreak and bitterness, but I can only make you stop and listen first to my words (on in this case, stop and read my note). Still, it is your decision to be sunk in the abyss of the negativity brought about by the sad events; or let yourself grieve for a second, but move on – looking forward to the positivity that the life can bring.

6/28/2010

Trying to Craft Another Story

I was dreaming last night… but it is so vivid that I can feel myself being part of the story.

It was his party. But amidst the happy mood in the place, I am sad. I am alone. I don’t want to join the merriment because what I feel doesn’t belong to that kind of ambiance. But I have to be there. I have to because –

He’s there.

I want to tell him, I want him to know what I feel. I want to tell him as soon as he enjoyed himself in the celebration – whatever that is.

And for that I will wait. No matter how long… no matter what I feel… I will wait.

And after a long while, everyone has enjoyed the night. Everyone has said their goodbyes, and everyone left – except me.

“Can we talk…?”

I want to ask him, but I just cannot utter a single word. I was nervous, I was afraid. Afraid of what I will say, and what he will answer… but this is the thing: you cannot let it out unless you have the courage to let it out. So I grabbed a bit of courage and asked him.

“Can we talk…?”

Silence.

He did not say anything, but his face was surprised that he saw me. He thought everyone is gone home. As if I did not exist in the party at all.

When he realized there was still one person wanting to talk with him, he just nodded his head.

-Talk-

My conscience told me, shouting for me to start talking and tell everything. Grab another handful of courage and –

-Tell him how you feel-

But I was afraid. Afraid of the unrequited love, of the one-sided feeling… What if he won’t feel the same? What if he turned me down? What if – all are still presumptions, until…

Until the moment that I felt my eyes holding back tears. I was crying.



Bertong badtrip! I woke up… and I can’t remember what happened after that momentous moment. Haist! Sorry if the craft is so corny… I know this is so “high school”… And I realized that I was born to appreciate short stories and other forms of literature, not to be a full time writer of one… Cheers for that!