Closing Books, Not Closing Doors

I used to believe that a proper goodbye should be done to every liaison we have with another. There shouldn't be ghosting, or any disappearing act, or an episode who left us hanging. It kind of hurts, that alienating feeling of not knowing how a story ends. So even though we did not work out after a year of online communication and an out of country travel, I decided to write him a closure letter. Read or not read, it gets cleared, at least on my end.

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Hello Engineer,

I think I need to tell you this. You know I really hated ghosting, more than hurting. 

Remember the time you have ignored me from the day I met your mom? Nagsumbong ako sa isang traveler friend, seeking answers to your questionable behavior. He mentioned that there is this group chat that acts as sensates and provide support, and somehow, explanations. 

Last 8thJun, I met an online friend who was part of that support group, a chat about MBTI personalities. He's a doctor, and it's an auspicious day to watch Aladdin and to destress by drinking Gong Cha. After that came another date, and another. Last 12th, he confessed. And then two days later, I decided to commit. 

I don't know, Engineer. Sometimes life gives you such random inexplicable singularities, to which a switch had flicked. Perhaps too good to be true between this person and I, but I choose to join in his little bubble. I want to fully commit in this art of dance. 

I hope you can find yours too, and incidentally, when we see each other in future travels, we have little bittersweet smile in our eyes, realizing a possibility that never happened. Again, I am closing our books, but I am not closing our doors. Padayon, kaibigan.

Ella