Every time that I go to lunch with my officemates, we have the talk of the town: boys, relationships, and marriage. Hindi na sila nagsawa. I mean, why do they ask me if ever I encountered this kind of thing (considering that most of my officemates are older than me)? So I made something, I told them that I have a man, but not a boyfriend…A fling, in short. You are not committed to him, but you have the privilege and the pleasure of belonging, belonging that a person thinks of you as someone special.
Akalain mong magagalit! They even told me that what I am doing is not good as training ground for marriage. Who tell them that I want to get married?! I told them that I wanted to marry when the perfect time comes, regardless of how old you are – 28, 29, 32 – it doesn’t matter. I want to be single for the mean time, I want to do things that a single lady can do: blind dates, mall strolling with friends, out-of-town travels, business jumpstarting...actually those are the few of many possibilities. As they said nga, bata pa ako. I have to be prepared before I encounter relationships. Relationships, together with commitments, are tough work…parang dalawang full time work for a day. Imagine that…tiring and stressful. But in the end, you realize daw that you do your best just to make things work, to make the ends meet. And you will just feel the cloud 9 feeling when you are in love, which is much more special than just having a fling.
Maybe I am afraid to have a lover, or maybe I just don’t want to. Or I think it’s just plain hard.
But at the end of the day, only God can decide what is best for life. For example, a friend of mine wishes for a happy married life (she’s already 27). Five years ago, she met a guy and made love with him… in the end, she regretted it. She wasn’t able to move on. She kept on looking for a man that would erase her past. I told her to pray and if she really wishes to move on, she doesn’t need a man for it. And voila! She has a boyfriend nowadays, a very intelligent and charming one. They take the relationship slowly, savoring every moment between them. The guy knew about her past, and still loves her for who she is.
Come to think of it, you can have this kind of story when you begin to “open up”, to “let go and let god”, and “bloom”. Maybe my officemates are right. Once I change my mentality regarding this thing, I could have a boyfriend – not just a fictitious creation, but for real.
Or maybe not muna. Hehehe…