My Athlete's Foot

Some side notes — I was trying to locate my Toastmasters Speeches in Facebook Notes from way back 2011 and for some reason, the notes themselves are very elusive. Was the Facebook notes section archived or deactivated? I was not even aware of this shift, really. In the meantime, I shall copy and paste whatever transcript that I can find.

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This is my Basic Speech Project 5 for the El Presidente Toastmasters Club and my contest piece for the Division A contest (representing Area 5). I wasn't able to bring home the bacon, but at least (being a novice in this field) I enjoyed sharing the stage with the champions. The experience was exhilarating. The competition was stiff. The improvement was drastic (even Mama was surprised).

Hindi ako kinabahan when I delivered my speech. I just told myself - don't be intimidated, in the first place - you have your own story to tell - and to make them see the humor is an added bonus!

Ako si 
Ella, at ito ang aking kwento. Enjoy. 😀
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Day in, day out – I still love my athlete’s foot. Eeew, right?!

Do you know why I love my Athlete’s foot?

Mister contest chair, Ladies and gentlemen - It all started one night. With bright stars in the sky, gentle breeze in the air, and! Lots of hunks along the street – it inspired me to do night jogging. And let me recommend – jog in the places where there are lots of hunk and babes, so that you will be stirred to get fit, and shop for the perfect mate!

I discovered this chance when I was jogging in the Fort Bonifacio High Street. Wow! So many hunks! My mind couldn’t focus on whom to look at first. Nevertheless, there was one particular Eduardo (the first name of a contestant in the same speech category) who approached me and said, “Hey”.

I replied, “Hi.” (whisper: Hi handsome!)

He asked, “May I join you in your jogging?”

“Sure.” (whisper OMG three times)

After a few minutes of jogging beside me, he asked, “Are you here with friends?”

“No. How about you? Are you here alone?”

“Yes I am. I have a condo over there. Would you like to see it?”

“Uh? Come again?”

He repeated, “Would you like to go over to my place?”

(Shriek for kilig)

“Of course!” (whisper for the record, I’m still a SSSB: Status Single Since Birth)

“Wait, let me adjust my shoes and socks, I need to air my athlete’s foot.”

Hearing that statement, he ran as fast as he could, away from me.

“Hey!” I called out, “I meant my foot as an athlete! NOT THE DISEASE!”

I felt bad. I got picked up at that moment. I could have a lovelife!

But, I also felt good. I didn’t know. I just sweat sexily...

The same discovery was made when I was jogging on a particular Sunday, on the same place and another guy approached me. This one is a bit old, but he’s tall and very handsome – like a GREEK GOD. We hit it off nicely and after jogging, we went shoe shopping for his athlete’s foot. There was a store called RUNNR with lots of you know (long pause) running shoes, and he would like to buy one.

During his test run, (Beeped like the 3310); I got a text message. As I was reading my message, this guy stared at it for a long time, surprise in his face. I asked quickly, “WHAT?” He said, “Nothing, I’m very impressed (long pause) with your cell phone.” (PAUSE)

“It’s very (LONG PAUSE) antique.”

HMP! (angry face) I ran off after we shopped, AND I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. (PAUSE)

Not that I care, A OLD, GREEK-GOD-LIKE, LOOKING DOWN ON MY JURASSIC CELL PHONE, HELLO! Isn’t he one?

Anyhow, with all the encounters of meeting my potential mate, I learn to love these feet. I learn to love jogging across the streets, and how these (show foot) seem to have a mind of its own, even this (touch forehead) mind does not. I love it when I project myself as a health-conscious girl determined to get fit.

And I love how my body projects as Pamela Anderson on the Baywatch! Ooh! (running across the stage) I am the sexy lifeguard in the Baywatch series (hand showing boobs).

With all these blessings from my athlete’s foot, I told myself, why not continue jogging? Why not continue to get fit from this? After all, we can say it’s officially summer; and I am determined to reach the 24 waistline – and complement the wonderful views of the beach, rather than to wreck it. I remember when I was younger; I posed in the shores of Batangas wearing my ultimate swimsuit. And when I saw the picture, Aahhh…perfect (wonderful sigh).

But two weeks ago when I saw myself in the shores of Baler wearing a tankini – AHH! (Shriek) OH MY GOSH! tsk tsk tsk…

I need to be sexy! Hmp, for your information, when I was in high school, I have the 24 waistline; I was in ultra-shape. But yesterday night, I heard my mom said,

“Anak, why don’t you run more to get yourself in shape?”

“Mom, I am in shape. Round is a shape? Isn’t it?”

I swore that I will improve, seeing my mom’s waist at 24. Seeing her bust size of 28, and I promised this frontal asset that I CAN DO BETTER.

That is why, I JOG!

And I urge to do the same. Discovery the views. Explore the hunks. Love - your athlete’s foot.

Ladies and gentlemen, as we see life, it’s like a long street to jog. With focus to your goal, with faith to your ability, and with fervor to your feet, I believe you will attain the ultra-shape. It doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the track, or last. Once you reached that finish line, AAAHH!!! (shout) “I did it”.

Just don’t forget, love your athlete’s foot; because with bright stars in the sky, gentle breeze in the air, and Hunks along the street, love life is just around the corner. Mister Contest Chair!

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(inputted in Facebook at 03 April 2011. A video was included as my piece in the District A Competition in Toastmasters)